Hanging out with a bunch of teens these days calls out for urgent HELP! Teen gangs at college or at clubs seem to have this sort of phobia of being single. It's always about companionships. Some don’t seem to give up and slip from one relationship into another, and some deliberately keep away from relationships!! Others keep trying to connect, but never hook up and successive failures drown them into misery. Conservative teens prefer getting into formal involvement, while others don’t mind being casual, but in all cases, they all share the same worry, to couple with someone.
There are a zillion guys that I know who can’t waste a week without hooking up with a girl. Girls on the other hand are lost between needing admiration and fear of getting dumped! I think it's totally NOT FAIR. Their best years are wasted on the biggest illusion. Yes, an illusion! Those feelings about needing a relationship are not true. Some couples I knew kept struggling for years, between breaking up and getting back together again. Even if they had a chance together, they probably screwed it with that rush; to become a couple. Worse is when best friends mix up between friendship and couple hood. A wonderful opportunity that can only be found at college is having a good friendship between a guy and gal cuz of the natural way they can meet everyday. Friends just waste it by giving up to their false desire for coupling. Then later when they discover it was all a bubble the good old friendship is never retained again.
This other couple I know had feelings for each other for a couple of years at college. Then after declaring to each other, they kept their distance for another 2 years softly getting to know who they are. Just like slowly trying to fit in 2 pieces of a puzzle that will just never fit in a hurry. After those 4 years, they got engaged, and are now preparing to get married.
If you can't do this, if you can't have control over yourself and keep the distance, then you have to forget about the whole coupling issue. Brainwash yourself and start planning for a spring clean. Empty your drawers and arrange your files. Your happiness is all about you, not anyone else. Remember how you had fun in the old days, when you enjoyed your time with anyone and at any time.
What's your hobby - drawing cartoons, writing poems, taking pictures? Howwa da!! I guarantee that ANYTHING you enjoy doing can switch your life. Just like replacing a baby's pacifier with a teddy bear to hold on to it at night. All this junk about getting with someone and breaking up, from perky to blue, all will be gone. Once you start doing what you love. Even the habit of talking for hours can become a success story. Look back at your resume and check out the hobbies and activities section. If you have "Poetry Writing" in it then you should have a stuffed file full of roughly written poems. The farther you become from that hobby the more you will loose your identity and search back for the pacifier. Don’t think of any chance as petty. A chance is a chance and you have to get the best out of it. Soon enough, you will find this little hobby the center of your life and giving you loads of satisfaction. When you least expect it, this might become a money making business!!
Should you just dump this coupling issue, full stop?? Absolutely not. I am not saying that you should get used to being alone or find substitutes for the company of others. Nop. Communicating with the opposite sex is essential and no conservative rules should prevent a person from communicating with the other sex decently. You need to build communication and negotiation skills. Oh yes! I really need to stress on negotiation skills. Having totally different natural needs, guys and girls normally need to negotiate and compromise, and without that skill, they will fail. Yep – it's that third category I mentioned before. Some people are just too scared from getting into a relationship that they DELIBERATELY reject any chance of having one. After some time they become lonely and by the time they get back to normal life and start knowing someone, its too late. Such a person either becomes too self centered that they can't bear someone sharing their life, or busts every chance of having a partner with their icky communication skills. That's when friendship steps in for the rescue.
What happens to those people who slip from one relation to another? They become artificial and loose that heavenly feeling of being on cloud nine. Untangle yourself from that mess and decide to be your own boss. Get a part time job after school, or join a course after your work. Once you get busy, you will be able to reorganize your priorities and will soon find yourself free again. When the day comes and you've true feelings for someone, you'll be able to tell the difference.
What if you keep failing to have a relationship? Why do people who keep failing to have a relationship get so depressed and think they will never be able to hook up with someone? If you ask me, staying single for a while does have its privileges, but it's most likely that you have a communication problem. In that case, throw it off your shoulder. Just like trying to keep your head above water, the more you struggle, the faster you drown. Just let yourself feel secure and get confident, eventually you'll float. Get more social. Join activities where you get involved with more people. Learn the natural way and makeup for those times when you fled away from mingling.
There are a zillion guys that I know who can’t waste a week without hooking up with a girl. Girls on the other hand are lost between needing admiration and fear of getting dumped! I think it's totally NOT FAIR. Their best years are wasted on the biggest illusion. Yes, an illusion! Those feelings about needing a relationship are not true. Some couples I knew kept struggling for years, between breaking up and getting back together again. Even if they had a chance together, they probably screwed it with that rush; to become a couple. Worse is when best friends mix up between friendship and couple hood. A wonderful opportunity that can only be found at college is having a good friendship between a guy and gal cuz of the natural way they can meet everyday. Friends just waste it by giving up to their false desire for coupling. Then later when they discover it was all a bubble the good old friendship is never retained again.
This other couple I know had feelings for each other for a couple of years at college. Then after declaring to each other, they kept their distance for another 2 years softly getting to know who they are. Just like slowly trying to fit in 2 pieces of a puzzle that will just never fit in a hurry. After those 4 years, they got engaged, and are now preparing to get married.
If you can't do this, if you can't have control over yourself and keep the distance, then you have to forget about the whole coupling issue. Brainwash yourself and start planning for a spring clean. Empty your drawers and arrange your files. Your happiness is all about you, not anyone else. Remember how you had fun in the old days, when you enjoyed your time with anyone and at any time.
What's your hobby - drawing cartoons, writing poems, taking pictures? Howwa da!! I guarantee that ANYTHING you enjoy doing can switch your life. Just like replacing a baby's pacifier with a teddy bear to hold on to it at night. All this junk about getting with someone and breaking up, from perky to blue, all will be gone. Once you start doing what you love. Even the habit of talking for hours can become a success story. Look back at your resume and check out the hobbies and activities section. If you have "Poetry Writing" in it then you should have a stuffed file full of roughly written poems. The farther you become from that hobby the more you will loose your identity and search back for the pacifier. Don’t think of any chance as petty. A chance is a chance and you have to get the best out of it. Soon enough, you will find this little hobby the center of your life and giving you loads of satisfaction. When you least expect it, this might become a money making business!!
Should you just dump this coupling issue, full stop?? Absolutely not. I am not saying that you should get used to being alone or find substitutes for the company of others. Nop. Communicating with the opposite sex is essential and no conservative rules should prevent a person from communicating with the other sex decently. You need to build communication and negotiation skills. Oh yes! I really need to stress on negotiation skills. Having totally different natural needs, guys and girls normally need to negotiate and compromise, and without that skill, they will fail. Yep – it's that third category I mentioned before. Some people are just too scared from getting into a relationship that they DELIBERATELY reject any chance of having one. After some time they become lonely and by the time they get back to normal life and start knowing someone, its too late. Such a person either becomes too self centered that they can't bear someone sharing their life, or busts every chance of having a partner with their icky communication skills. That's when friendship steps in for the rescue.
What happens to those people who slip from one relation to another? They become artificial and loose that heavenly feeling of being on cloud nine. Untangle yourself from that mess and decide to be your own boss. Get a part time job after school, or join a course after your work. Once you get busy, you will be able to reorganize your priorities and will soon find yourself free again. When the day comes and you've true feelings for someone, you'll be able to tell the difference.
What if you keep failing to have a relationship? Why do people who keep failing to have a relationship get so depressed and think they will never be able to hook up with someone? If you ask me, staying single for a while does have its privileges, but it's most likely that you have a communication problem. In that case, throw it off your shoulder. Just like trying to keep your head above water, the more you struggle, the faster you drown. Just let yourself feel secure and get confident, eventually you'll float. Get more social. Join activities where you get involved with more people. Learn the natural way and makeup for those times when you fled away from mingling.
So when I say you should spice up your life, I mean it! Bring together all the little things you love and integrate them into your life. Let friendships take over and if feelings arise, very slowly step towards any bud of romance.
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